How to flow with the go

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been noticing a heaviness that’s zapping joy from things that typically bring me fulfillment, a feeling of overwhelm and of being stuck. Yesterday, I had an interesting coaching session where I got to be the client, and we took a meta-view, which is like metaphorically stepping back from what’s right in front of you and looking at life or current experience from a bird’s-eye view. As I “stepped back” and observed, a visual came to me of my energy as a river which was flowing into this giant, immovable rock in the river. This rock represented things that are out of my control right now where I need to wait and see, or where the ball is in someone else’s court. What felt so clear to me in this visual was that it isn’t my job to control everything or to do everything, it’s to work with the flow.

Using good ol’ imagination, I turned away from the rock in another direction. And lo and behold, there were all of these places where I could put my energy, where I knew there momentum and that were also aligned with what feels most important to me. I felt energy come back. Suddenly, things that had been on my to-do list carried renewed meaning and felt lighter knowing I didn’t have to do them while pushing on a giant rock.

It sounds conceptual, and it is. But this is also a real encounter with my habits where noticing is enough to provide me an opportunity for a more conscious choice around directing my energy. I noticed where I’m giving my energy away to try to control things in an attempt to create a sense of stability that makes me feel safe. The intention is good, but the impact wears on me when things inevitably change.

When I’m more aware of my habits around energy, I choose to believe this: life is doing some of the work for me all the time. My job is to step back and take that meta-view to understand what direction things are flowing, because it might be different than I expect or predict (or even want!). It requires some trust. In this case, I may come back to that rock later, when things have changed, when the timing is right. 

The affirmation that bubbled up from a wiser, deeper place inside of me during this session was: I don’t outsource my dreams. I take on the whole responsibility of my dreams. I am the one who will steward them and move them forward and yet, that doesn’t mean that I get to control every piece. It means that I work with what’s available to me and I move my energy with discernment so that those things can actually come to be in the world. To me, that is what it means to be in a deep relationship with the unknown.

If you’re relearning this lesson along with me, then take a meta-view with me by stepping back and imagining your energy and where it’s flowing (really, close your eyes and name all the places in your life where your time and thoughts are going). Notice where the energy flow feels generative, useful, and supportive of your dreams and where it feels stagnant. If you were to call some of that energy back in,

where would you choose for it to flow? And what does that mean you’ll spend more or less time doing?